It’s been such a long time that I’ve written in here, and I do apologize.
However, tonight, I want to share what’s on my heart, so please bear with me.

I’ve had one of the more rough past two years out of anyone I know. I’m not saying that for pitty, I’m merely being honest. I built a path for myself that lead to destruction. This destruction destroyed paths to His Kingdom. It destroyed traditions, purposes, desires, gifts. At some point within my walk with God a little over two years ago, I decided that I could do this life thing on my own, with my own ideas. I constantly told myself, and others, that these ideas were God’s and that He was the one that I was serving, and nobody else. Yet the truth be told, the only person I was serving, was myself. I took a gift that God gave and blessed me with, and destroyed it. I took the outlet that was built for me, and corrupted it. I used my knowledge to deceive, and lead in the wrong direction. I fell into the easy temptations that were set upon me, and fed those with my insecurities, to create a monster that hurt those who meant the most to me. It took a moment in the lowest of low valley’s for me to even see what I was doing. Within that valley, is where I allowed myself to meet God one on one. It was there that I found the truth. I found that my love, it was conditional, and was attached with tons of agendas. I found that my words that were being spoken, were being spoken so that they could benefit me, because I needed to be important. I needed to be loved. I needed to be recognized for what I was doing. Or so I thought. It was in the valley, that God showed me, none of that mattered. That what truly mattered was loving so deeply, that you were forgotten and God was remembered. That the less of me that was in my life, that the more my life would prosper and experience joy. That the more I blessed others, the more that I would truly KNOW Him.

Today, I am closer to being where God wants to me to be, yet I am so far that every day is a struggle. I am constantly looking for every tree root, every limb to hold on to, to lift/pull myself out of the valley into the arms of my Savior. Tonight, as I was worshiping and praying with IHOP’s Awakening service, God continued to guide me out of my valley. Tonight, He showed me another glimpse of the truth of freedom. That there is such thing as complete freedom when you trust Him with your life fully. No corners cut, no secrets hidden in the closet. Only you, as you are, with all your ugliness in your arms, ready to be handed over to the one that took the scars so we wouldn’t have to have any.

So tonight(or whenever you read this), I ask that you pray with me, and for me. That you will pray freedom and courage into the lives of all of those who deal with bondage in their life between them and whatever it is that is acting as their God in their life. Whether that be porn, video games, sex, tv, books, their friends, their job, their school work, their spouse, money, etc. Pray that they will find courage to put their faith in the only God who will satisfy and heal. The only God that can rid their guilt and shame. The only God who will fill their thirst. The only God who will never fail them. The only God, who can give complete, freedom; Abba Father

Please, share a your stories, your testimonies, and prayer requests below, so that we can grow and learn together.

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